How To Snag a Markbot

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How To Snag a Markbot; 6/25 Age of Love Recap
Topic Started: Jun 30 2007, 09:42 PM (515 Views)
Bored	Jun 30 2007, 09:42 PM Post #1
Well? Posts: 1,439 Group: Admin Member #4 Joined: February 13, 2005	Welcome, everyone, to a recap of yet another really, really stupid dating TV show, Age of Love! In this show, our bachelor, Mark Phillippoussis, or Philipoussis, or Phillllippoussississ, who we'll call Markbot for short, and our host, Mark Consuelos, or Marky Mark for short, or Kelly Ripa's Man for even shorter, answer the age-old question: which has better dating potential for today's 30 year old man who is totally devoid of a personality - a 20 year old, or a 40 year old? Because, apparently, enquring minds want to know. This week, our show starts off with the 40 year olds wondering what Markbot could posibly be doing the day after eliminations. Little do they know that Markbot is doi - umm.... I mean... meeting the buxom 20 year olds. As opposed to the 40 year olds, who each wore very pretty dresses, the 20's are wearing their best skankalicious beach attire. The first woman to come out is Lauren, aged 27. Markbot has the same blank gaze that he exhibited all throughout the last episode, but apparently doesn't feel as obliged to throw random compliments her way and calls her 'hot' in the confessional. Next up is Adelaide, 26, who admits that she got bored with her last boyfriend... after four months. Apparently she has an attention span shorter than host Mark. Yikes. Markbot and Adelaide make small talk, and she takes her seat on the lounge chairs... of bitchy gazes. Next up is Amanda, 25, who is our resident dancer. She says she's been through a lot. Mark describes her as hot. Generic city. Following Amanda is Mary, or, as the editors have so kindly entitled her, Stutty McStutterer. Although she only says a total of four words, she somehow manages to stutter, and Mark reassumes the robot gaze. Alas, we knew it was only a matter of time. Mary takes her seat and whispers to the other girls that she did horribly, to which they all half-heartedly attempt to cheer her up. But not really. Tessa is next, and although she looks like she could be the stupidest of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends she claims that she wants an intellecutal challenge. Hmmm.... finally, Megan, the baby at 21, introduces herself to Markbot, and he announces that he's ready for... bikini time! After a commercial break, Markbot has officially gotten the barbeque and beach babes party starting. After he finishes grilling, he pull Tessa aside. While they talk, Tessa reveals that she has a dog which has the same personality as her. For once, Markbot is shocked by someone else's lack of personality. Surprise! Lauren gets tired of Tessa hogging Mark, so she goes over and breaks it up, and Markbot joins the women in the hot tub. Mark then expresses his joy to be in the hot tub with a bunch of gorgeous women, and... nobody says anything. Nobody moves. Everything is completely silent, much like the buzz about this show. At thi time, we cut to the 40 year olds, who are having a little too much fun with whipped cream and underwear. Poor Markbot. Lauren is the next one to talk to Mark. In her interview, she mentions that she loves to eat. Cut to just about all of the other 20's making shallow small talk and Mark wondering if any of them have any direction in life. Finally, Markbot talks with Adelaide, and says that he actually made a connection with her. Finally! Someone with a redeeming quality. Finally, the meet and greet is over, and Marky drags Markbot back to the bachelor pad. Before leaving, Marky tells the ladies that some of them won't see Markbot before the elimination ceremony, and Mary starts freaking out because of her stuttering incident. Yawn. After frolicking with the younger women, Markbot admits that he's missed the older women. So, when he finally gets to see the 40 year olds, they go to the most romantic place ever - a 70's roller skating rink. And, like every other TV bachelor, Markbot is wearing an afro. I'm suddenly embarrassed for the sport of tennis. The ladies change into rather revealing skating clothes, and everyone has a good time. Woohoo! Back at the house, Mary has proven herself to be the resident psycho crazy crying lady. She's still freaking out about stuttering earlier. If her emotional stability was not yet in question, I'm thinking that it finally is. At the roller rink, the 40's are holding a... limbo competition! In the end, Angela gets the lowest and wins some alone time with Markbot. They skate around for a while until Jen, the 48 year old, steals Mark aside for a little chat. They talk for a long time, and Markbot comments that he suddenly no longer sees age as a factor. Then, she mentions the 25 year old son, and Mark gets kind of freaked out. Apparently, the "you could be my mommy" factor is not working in Jen' s favor. Later that night, Markbot calls the 20's and schedules some more time with Amanda, Adelaide, and Megan. Markbot has a hot date night set up for them. And, like any hot date, it's centered around Dance Dance Revolution. Apparently, DDR is no longer just for college students or people with way too much time on their hands and superior coordination skills. During DDR time, Markbot has developed a good opinion of Megan, calling her "fun". Speaking of fun, we get to check in with the other 20 year olds, who are cleaning up and trying to figure out what they would be if we were comparing everything to Cinderella. And failing miserably at said comparison. Alas, this show is just a black hole for brain cells. Back at the Markbot Pad, Adelaide pulls our bachelor aside and says that she really, really likes him. The other two girls have an oh-no-she-di'int moment, and Adelaide hopes that her frankness won't get her eliminated tonight. Finally, we reach the elimination ceremony. Thank you, TV gods. But first, we must see the catty faces that the 40 year olds make when they discover the 20's are joining the game! As the 20's come down the elevator, the 40's have the obligatory confused looks on their faces. After they join the 40 year olds, the older women... start laughing. Buuurn. Finally, it's time for Markbot to awkwardly cut two people - one older woman and one younger woman. In the end, Lauren and Angela are told that things just aren't going to work between them and Mark, and they get the hug of shame before walking away and crying. So sad. Next week - more of the same? And all of the women live together? Joy! Excitement! NOT! Do you actually like this show? If so, sign up and tell us all about it!
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