Puke, Pee and Farts - On The Lot Recap

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Puke, Pee and Farts - On The Lot Recap
Topic Started: May 29 2007, 12:16 AM (589 Views)
dfleminator	May 29 2007, 12:16 AM Post #1
Dr. Horrible Posts: 4,810 Group: Admin Member #2 Joined: February 13, 2005	Good evening everyone, and welcome to On The Lot! I will be your host, dfleminator, and while my cleavage may not be as attractive as that of the show’s host Adrianna Costa, I would hope that I’m a little less obnoxious. I will be recapping this show this season, and I must say I’m really excited. After seeing the first two episodes of this show, I think it is bound to be a very good show, with much more talent that American Idol had this season. So I invite you to all sit back, grab your popcorn and m&ms and a massive Coca-Cola, and enjoy with me the best that up and coming film directors have to offer. To kick off the show, host Adrianna Costa talks. I can’t hear anything she says, because the audience is busy clapping, and once I finally do hear what she says, I wish the audience would clap louder. This will be the last time I speak of her. Before we can find out who makes up the final eighteen filmmakers, we are introduced to our judges. Of course, we know Carrie Fisher and Gary Marshall are both members of the judging panel, but we also have a guest judge with us this evening, D.J. Caruso, director of Disturbia. On the last episode, we were left hanging. We found out that the filmmakers were each given a page of script and required to film that script in one hour. We saw little previews of how some of them were having troubles. So, I’m looking forward to seeing how the judges narrowed it down from 24 to 18. Sadly, I am let down. We really have no idea how they selected the eighteen people that they selected, and we see absolutely nothing… I feel ripped off. At least we’ll see everyone’s film today. The task for this week is for these filmmakers to direct a one minute comedy short. It should have a beginning, middle and end, and it should be funny. Sound simple? For some maybe… but many had troubles with either the beginning, middle and end part, or the funny part. Let’s find out who does well, and who needs to go back to film school (or go to film school for the first time). First up is Adam S from Miami, FL. He tells us that he went to Harvard Law, but realized it wasn’t for him. His film is called “Dance Man”, in which there is a character that can only communicate by doing interpretive dance. He is a lonely man, until he finally meets a woman who not only understands him, but also communicates through dance. I thought it was cute, and a little funny. Very interesting concept. What did our judges think? Carrie - charming little film, I loved it DJ- wonderful stand alone film, wonderful job, we should be sucking up to this guy soon Garry- Aristotle said you need a beginning, middle, and end. You did in a minute what I struggle to do in a full feature film. If Spielberg won’t use you, I’d love to use you. My Rating: Carolina Z, from Santa Monica, CA (originally from Spain) is up next. She loves cinematography, and her comedy short is titled “Deliver Me”, which she describes as a dark comedy about modern day birth. Maybe I had trouble getting into this because I’m male, but I found the movie choppy, and hard to follow. I just didn’t get it. She was answering her phone while having a baby, and then she was given the epidural, and she was suddenly on a tropical island somewhere. I did notice she had excellent cinematography though. Did the judges like it better? Carrie - I thought it was terrific, it was a success DJ - I was really impressed with the visual, wonderful performance from your lead actress Garry - I think you did a terrific job, it was hip and modern My Rating: Andrew H from Minneapolis, MN is up next. He explains to us that he was getting married at the same time as filming “Spaced Out”, a film about a police officer that pulls over a suspicious vehicle, with drunk aliens. These drunk aliens barfed all over the police officer, bringing lots of laughs. This was a great film. Carrie - You managed to make an alien barf, I’ve wanted to have that happen for years. You did what George Lucas couldn’t do. I suggest merchandising the barfy aliens. DJ - You accomplished your goal, it was great Garry - Barfing isn’t my first choice of humor, but I laughed at this. You cast great aliens. Barfing on an authority figure is always good for a laugh. My Rating: Kenny “never went to film school” L is up next from Owego, NY. He’s the one that never went to film school, and is sure to tell us this in every episode. Will his lack of schooling show in his comedy short “Wack Alley Cab”? I can’t even begin to explain this short. It makes no sense to me, and it only made me laugh at the pure stupidity of it all. I felt embarrassed, but what did the judges think? Carrie - I don’t know what you were going for, but for me it didn’t quite succeed. This didn’t make me laugh. I don’t know what was happening DJ - I felt like I was watching a spoof on a late night cable tv show. What was funny to you wasn’t funny to me or to the audience Garry- Sometimes you go far out, and you find no one’s out there with you. Maybe it went over my head, I liked the colors. My Rating: NEGATIVE Hillary G from Francestown, NH is up next with “Bus #1” about a woman on a school bus that really needs to pee. She ends up peeing in a coffee cup, and throwing it out the window. I thought it was a poor concept, and not particularly humorous, particularly the supposed payoff, which was a runner seeing the coffee cup on the ground, and smelling the urine. She must have had a lot of asparagus or something. What did the judges think? Carrie - I’m such a fan of your work, and I feel a little disappointed, cause you went with urine. Maybe it’s from having a three year-old. I feel a little letdown from what I saw. DJ - I don’t like the concept that you chose Garry - I like women filmmakers, but I like to see them do things that are different from a man. My Rating: Marty M the obnoxious filmmaker from Seattle, WA shares that he once wrote a sequel to Jurassic Park and got rejected by Spielberg. His film is actually a trailer for a movie called “The Big Bad Heist”. Now, let’s go back to what the two parts of this task are… it has to have a beginning, middle and end, and it has to be funny. Marty managed to fail on both counts. There was something about ninjas. I wait for the judges to yell at him… and again, I am disappointed. Carrie- The assignment was to make a one minute film, and you made a one minute preview. I’d like to see what you could do if you took on a one minute film. his response was he was trying to take a risk, which I suppose is the case, it is quite a risk to go completely against the rules. DJ - It had attitude, I loved the vibe, be braver on the next project and select a film with one single story Garry- At least there was no barfing or peeing. We’d love to see if you could make a movie My Rating: ZERO Father of two, Will B from Canyon, TX shot a film called “Lucky Penny”. It’s about a man who discovers a lucky penny and then encounters some very unlucky circumstances, before losing the penny and having an old lady pick it up. Carrie - It was a lovely little gem, and you have such a lovely spirit, and I saw it all the way through that, congratulations DJ - It reminded me of a great silent film… great shot of the piano down to the victim Garry- Acting was excellent, made it funny and charming at the same time, which is very hard to do. My Rating: Jessica B from Brooklyn, NY, and her film is “…To Screw In A Lightbulb”, a metaphor on how simple tasks can often be made so complex. Somehow it also involves a man in a chicken suit. It was slightly humorous, but I wasn’t sure I understood the whole thing. Did the judges find it odd as well? Carrie - I didn’t completely get it, you’re such a talented filmmaker, I would have liked it if you had gone further than just that one room DJ- A poor concept that wasn’t executed well Garry - It’s hard to make a metaphor funny My Rating: Mateen K of Oakland, CA tells us that 10 years ago he had successful career on Wall Street, but that he quit to be involved in filmmaking. His movie, “Soft”, is about a guy who is called “soft” by his friends, and so he puts on a mask to go rob someone. He realizes when going through the woman’s purse, that she has a picture of him. He takes off the mask to take a better look, and his grandmother recognizes him, and knocks him out. I thought it was very funny, but would the judges agree? Carrie- I thought you did a really good job, there could have been more edge to the crew that was telling him he was soft DJ- I agree the film’s a success… wanted more contrast between soft and hard Garry- I thought it was very good, but I’m from the Bronx, and some of those kids looked like they came from the chess club. My Rating: One of my favorites, Claudia L from Bagheria, Italy is up next with her movie “Blind Date”, a love story that ends up in a bathroom. Overall, she was doing well with someone who was trying the love thing, and ended up in a men’s washroom, next to someone who farts. The fart was really disruptive to a short that was really good. It was far too jolting in my opinion. Do the judges agree with me? Carrie - Farting makes me uncomfortable in life and in art, it was well made, maybe comedy isn’t your thing. Maybe with different material, you would do better. DJ- I think it was really well made, I felt like you chickened out and went with a fart joke. Garry - I think you are an artist, but comedy is tricky, and even though it is well made, with the peeing and farting, it makes you want to wash your hands. I would do something closer to your passion as a woman that you care about. My Rating: Jason E from Winchester, KY is up next with “Getta Rhoom”, a movie about a nerdy guy looking for acceptance. I thought it was funny, but didn’t realize the fact that the nerdy guy seemed mentally challenged, until Carrie Fisher pointed it out, and this did hurt the otherwise excellent film in the end. Carrie – with a look of pain The guy seemed mentally challenged, I don’t know how to react to it, I was just so offended. Jason replied by saying the nerdy guy was meant to be nerdy, and not mentally challenged DJ- It took away from the humor, it felt like we were exploiting someone with special needs Garry - We all like dark humor, but you went pitch dark. The film making was good, but you didn’t direct the actor that well. My Rating: David M of Aurora, CO is up next with “File Size”. It is a movie about an office worker who is stuck in the day when papers were kept together using paperclips. He then has to move on to staplers, and finally to e-mail. Overall, I found it quite boring, but were the judges excited about it? Carrie - I thought it was good, I don’t think a lot happened, but it was really well made, I liked the credit, and I really think you’re a good filmmaker DJ - The camera was always in the right spot, on the next project, challenge yourself with better subject matter Garry - I love the shoot inserts, but I would like your actors to do a little more, I think you should get a hug from Adrianna My Rating: Another favorite of mine, Zach L from Vancouver, BC is a master of special effects as we saw in his 24 hour short “Time Out” in which he made time stop. Will his special effects work be useful to him in his comedy short “Danger Zone”, about a safety laboratory that’s never been more dangerous? The answer is yes. He did a superb job with special effects going in one 360 degree shot, with no cuts. Are the judges as impressed as I am? Carrie - I’m not worthy, you’re just awesome, to do that in one shot, I can’t believe it. My hat is off to you DJ - It was brilliant, in one 360 shot, you told a story with a beginning, middle and end. Garry- I couldn’t do that, that’s terrific, you told the whole story with the green screen and domino theory. Change your last name, you need a shorter name. My Rating: Next up we have Trevor J of Great Falls, MT with his film called “A Golf Story”, which is a cocky rookie vs. a veteran, in a mini-golf tournament. We only know it’s mini-golf from the preview, in which we see a banner that says it’s a mini-golf tournament. The actual movie doesn’t show us this. The cocky golfer decides to putt with his eyes closed, and manages to get the ball in, but he hit in his opponent’s ball. The whole thing confuses me, because I had no idea that you could just accidentally hit the wrong ball, and it would count for your opponent. If that was the case, I’d hit my opponents ball as far away from the hole as I could next time I play mini golf. Are the judges as confused as I am? Carrie - It was really well made, beautiful to look at, I didn’t completely get that it was a mini-golf thing, I wouldn’t have gotten it. DJ- I thought it was very smart and timely to spoof a sports movie. Wanted a clown face or a windmill or something stupid like that Garry - You had the shot of the sign of the mini-golf in your intro clip, but nothing to say it was mini-golf in the movie. My Rating: Shalini K from Brooklyn, NY primarily films documentaries to address human rights, so it could be interesting to see if she can do comedy. Her short is called “Love in 2007” about how technology is supposed to bring us together, but sometimes brings us further apart. Did the judges like her funny bone? Carrie - It was very ambitious, certainly had a beginning, middle and end. A success, and I was glad there was no vomiting, farting or peeing in it DJ- I think you have a really nice eye and are good at where to put the camera, actress’ acting wasn’t the greatest. Garry- I think you’re a very serious filmmaker, and I think that’s great, but in this case, you were going for humor that wasn’t your strong suit. My Rating: Phil H of Manchester, England grew up in an at-risk situation, but fell back on films. His film, “Please Hold” is about a woman who calls the police when she’s being robbed. I think the idea is not really all that original, and it loses its funniness because of that. Will the judges reward Phil? Carrie - It had a terrific look, one of the most distinctive looks of any of these films. It was cute, but I didn’t think it was really funny, but it was certainly not a failure. DJ- You have a really good eye, I didn’t like the concept. Garry- I’m glad you didn’t become a criminal. It was 911, there is a lot of films about that, and you had the word “burgled” in it, one of the funniest words without a k in it. My Rating: Shira-Lee S of Johannesburg, South Africa claims that her film, “Check Out” was inspired by going to the airport and having to disrobe, and realizing how funny it was. I have to say that if she can really see the funny in a situation as uncomfortable as this, then she deserves “mad props”. I was not disappointed, nor were the judges: Carrie - Yes! One for the girls! I thought you did a great job, you took a demeaning ordinary thing that we all go through at the airport, and you turned it into an stupid striptease. DJ - Thank you for seeing that there is comedy in pain. Garry - I gotta personally thank you for doing something sexy. I’m sitting here waiting for Adrianna to do the phone numbers. My Rating: Finally, Sam F of Mount Vernon, NY shows his film “Replication Theory” about how if something makes a farting sound, someone is required to replicate the sound, in order to show that they didn’t actually fart. It’s extremely amusing, but I wonder how the judges will feel about another movie involving bodily functions.[/b] Carrie - Well I’ve heard this happens to people, I thought it was great, I know I’ve said I didn’t like farting, but you’ve made farting classy. DJ- I thought it was really well shot, it’s a universal theme, very, very good film. Garry- Again, farting not my favorite subject, but you’ve made fancy farting, which is a different level. Quite original, even though the basic farting noise isn’t original. My Rating: As the night draws to a close, the judges are invited to give their three favorite films. Judges Favorites DJ – Zack, Adam and Andy Carrie – Zack, Will, and Sam Gary – Adam, Zack, and Shira-Lee Me – Zack, Sam, and Shira-Lee My Bottom Three Marty, Hillary, and Kenny Do you agree with my assessments? Do you disagree? Sign up by clicking here, and tell us all about it!



funnygirl	May 29 2007, 09:56 AM Post #2
Easin' into summertime... Posts: 3,514 Group: Writer Member #109 Joined: April 25, 2005	I missed it. However, your recap was wonderful. I love your popcorn ratings.
	Those who can't laugh at themselves, leave the job to others. Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says... 'Oh, crap...she's awake!!’


chairo	May 29 2007, 10:25 AM Post #3
Opinionated Posts: 3,739 Group: Writer Member #317 Joined: August 14, 2005	I didn't get to see the first night so I missed the disappointment you felt at not seeing the way the final 18 were chosen. I also wasn't sure what to expect but things started out well with Adam. I loved his dance short and thought it a great and original concept. The next I enjoyed was Andrew's Spaced Out. When the first 3 all got great reviews I figured "here we go again" no good criticism. But I guess I jumped the gun. However I do find Carrie Fisher boring. I like Gary Marshall and the guest judge was okay. I really missed -- dare I say it -- Simon Cowell of AI and Len from DWTS. I hope we get out of this mindset of being nice even when the stuff they are reviewing really stinks. Since Dfleminator gave such a great review I will only list the ones I really liked ... Adam, Andrew, Will, Mateen, Zach, Shira-Lee, and Sam. There were some not so bad the rest but these were stand outs for me.
	Always dream the impossible dream and reach for the unreachable star


dfleminator	May 29 2007, 10:30 AM Post #4
Dr. Horrible Posts: 4,810 Group: Admin Member #2 Joined: February 13, 2005	I think all shows really need a mean British judge I agree that Carrie was a little on the boring side... I was a little taken aback by some of Garry's comments... did anyone else find him slightly sexist at times? I find Adrianna obnoxious, but the way he talked about her was just icky.



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