We return and get another freakin’ recap of what we’ve already seen tonight. I get the impression that Fox thinks their viewing audience suffers from ADD or short term memory loss. Thank God this is the last epi or I’d have to write a letter.

7:00 a.m.
The Don and Inky are getting ready to go downstairs. The Don is using sports metaphors to get himself pumped up for tonight’s dinner service. Inky, on the other hand, is using battle plans. Whatever.

They both stop in to see how their respective dining rooms are shaping up and are awed by the transformation. The Don thinks it’s awesome. Inky is in love too, but he can’t help but notice his booths are conspicuously missing. This is the little snafu to start the day for their designer. He switches the subject to color and tells Inky the room seems a little cold and needs to be warmed up with some color…how about red? Inky agrees reluctantly, but lets him know that he hasn’t forgotten the booth situation by throwing in “it’s hard to imagine without the booths being in, they’re the essence of the room.” I mentally give Inky a high five.

Chef Ramsay needs another few seconds of the boys time. This time it’s all about the kitchen staff. Chef Ramsay tells them he has hand-picked their staff himself and all have worked in his kitchen. Then just before we break to commercial out comes my dearly beloved :wub:

We’re back. Now we get to see the six evicted chefs that were chosen (or weren’t too bitter to decline) to come back to Hell’s Kitchen.
Dewberry :wub:
Wendy (Asian chick who thought cold water boiled faster than hot)
Pansy
Jimmy
Mommy Dearest
Jessica

If you remember, Inky won the taste test challenge yesterday so he gets first pick. He does something unexpected and chooses Jess. I think this was to trip up the Don since she’s his “gal”. The Don chooses Pansy first. Chef Ramsay is wondering why the guys aren’t fighting over Mommy Dearest. Because they know she sucks Gordo! Anyhoo, here are the teams:

Inky: Jess, Jimmy, Mommy Dearest
Don: Pansy, Wendy and Dewberry :wub:

I personally feel that Inky got the more stable team.

I have to give the Don a line of props here because he managed to address Dewberry :wub: as if he was honored to have him on his team as opposed to being “stuck with” him.

Both teams head to their respective kitchens. The Don gives his team a pep talk complete with 7 rules to follow in his kitchen (oh brother!). Pansy tells us he’s jealous that he’s cooking for the Don as opposed to the other way around.

Inky tells his team he needs them to be a professional staff. Jess of course whines to the camera how she would rather be on the Don’s team.

The Don’s take on what to expect from his team is as follows:

Pansy will be all over the place, Wendy will break down and Dewberry :wub: will walk off the line since he did it before. Yet another (this is the 4th) black and white footage of Dewberry’s :wub: meltdown on the line that ended his time in Hell’s Kitchen.

Inky is telling his team that his dream is in their hands. He continues on by telling them he couldn’t feel more confident. At that moment, Jess grabs a sheet of bread and sends several more cookie sheets to the kitchen floor making a huge ruckus at the back of the kitchen. Inky isn’t too bothered by this since he just got word his booths have arrived and are being installed.

Next, we see JP addressing the Don about his menu and the Don calls him John Pierre. This pisses off JP because his name is John Phillipe. I’ve felt him to be more of a Jeeves, but what the heck do I know. In any event, JP tells us that he’s going to kill him. I can’t blame him because it’s been a kazillion weeks that they have worked together. I bet if he had breasts the Don would remember. :oooo Sorry, I got away from myself. JP assures us that he is going to remain neutral with both chefs.

Now we get to see what the chef’s wait staff will be wearing for the dinner service. Ralph’s group is decked out in black and red. The men are wearing black slacks, red button down shirts with black ties. The women are sadly wearing black skirts, fishnet stockings, red blouses and black scarves around their necks. It would be such a hideous site on the women except they are all wearing black sensible shoes and look ridiculous!

Ralph tells his staff that he has named his restaurant Frank & Lou Lou’s after his and his best friend’s dogs. The staff looks utterly unimpressed.

Inky addresses his wait staff and tell them his restaurant is called Lola Pops for his wife. Lola Pop is apparently one of Inky’s pet names for her. The staff seem moved. I'm getting bored :tireder

With 1.5 hours until the doors open to their restaurant, both kitchens are prepping for the night’s dinner service. The Don tells Pansy he has 15 minutes to peel artichokes. In his rush to please the Don, he cuts his finger with the peeler. Wendy almost passes out at the sight of the blood and instructs the Pansy to go to the medic. Pansy is telling us how he doesn’t want to miss this dinner service and let the Don down. I’m starting to think Uncle Richie the Fish put the squeeze on him behind the scenes. Off goes Pansy to the hospital.

5:49 p.m.

Don goes to Chef Ramsay’s office and tells him he is down a man. Chef asks the Don what his contingency plan is. He tells Chef Ramsay if need be he’ll work both vegetable station and the hot plate. Chef Ramsay seems pleased with this decision and stands up. It is now time for the Don to show Chef Ramsay his restaurant.

Chef Ramsay tells him it’s warm and looks like a throwback from the roaring 20s. Then we see the wait staff line up for inspection by Chef Ramsay. He tells the Don the gents look smart, but the ladies look like old grannies. He then asks the waitresses if they like their uniforms and they all so NO in unison.

Now Chef Ramsay heads over to Inky’s side of the restaurant. With the booths in and the finishing touches added, I have to admit that I like it. It’s not my style and I doubted it going in, but I like the end product. Alas, it is not up to me to decide. Chef tells Inky it looks glamorous. He also tells him that he had concerns with all square tables, but the booths make it work. Now Inky’s wait staff lines up. The girls are wearing black slacks, gray blouses with really cool black ties. The boys are wearing black slacks and really black t-shirts. After Inky explains this is a unisex look Ramsay tells him the girls look very nice but the boys look like ballerinas. The boys all nervously laugh.

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen the Don is cutting at triple speed. Then from out of nowhere Pansy comes bursting through the doors to save the day. He tells us that it was ‘only’ four stitches and he wasn’t going to let the Don down again.

Chef Ramsay calls the Don and Inky forward. He tells them he is impressed with their restaurants and explains how he will be spending equal time in each restaurant shadowing, not helping, but just watching each of the contestants. I need to add this is where Chef Ramsay becomes Hell’s Kitchen’s very first color commentator.[i]

A little side note from this recapper. From here on out, I will be referring to the remaining chefs by their real names. I think they’ve earned it, don’t you?

We come back from a commercial and Ralph and Michael are dressed as head chefs. Michael gives a pep talk to his team. They all wish him good luck and Jimmy tells him they won’t let him down. Michael mutters “dirty bowl Jimmy” and heads to the hot plate.

Ralph decides he’s going to use the Vince Lombardi approach with his team. He says he wants absolute perfection and professionalism. Wendy tells us in confession cam “we’ll only push so far because there’s nothing in it for us.” Nice attitude babe!

DVM informs us that the customers once again will be playing a huge role in Chef Ramsay’s final decision. The two chefs embrace and the doors to their restaurants open.

Michael’s first order comes in and he yells it out to the kitchen staff. **crickets** They all look dumbfounded. He yells at them the order again and they all answer “yes, Chef!”. Another order comes in and Michael gets confused in all the commotion and starts yelling out the wrong order. Chef Ramsay tells us that Michael and his staff are not connected or working as a team. A brief glimpse of Michael’s appetizers being tasted in the dining room and they are well received.

Ralph is keeping his kitchen up to speed and on schedule. Wendy’s freaking out (per the usual) and Ralph goes over to help her. Chef Ramsay tells us that Ralph is spending more time with starters than on the hot plate. Ralph has a back-up plan though…out rolls an ante pasto cart. DVM tells us that this will help to give the kitchen some breathing room.

An hour and a half into dinner service all of Michael’s starters are out. Uh-oh, we have a problem. One of the customers finds a bit of plastic in her pumpkin. JP takes care of the customer and sends the plate back to the kitchen. Michael shows the plate to Jess and all of a sudden she’s getting lippy. Then she and Mommy Dearest start bickering back and forth. Michael is trying to put a stop to it.

In Ralph’s kitchen his team is rallying to get back on track. His customers are loving the appetizers. Ralph is telling Dewberry :wub: not to put the spaghetti on until he gives the order. He heads over to Dewberry’s section just as Dewberry is putting fish stock in the pasta. Ralph tells him it’s fine just don’t let it happen again and heads back to the hot plate. Pan back to Dewberry who is just about to swoon from the heat. Pansy is telling him to tough it out and drink some water. Ralph starts to come unraveled a little bit and Jeeves is telling him he needs to speed it up a bit because the customers are getting a little cranky.

What happens next was expected by all. My beloved Dewberry :wub: turns his back on his team. He walks to the back and finds something to sit on. In the kitchen, Ralph asks the Parolee where Dewberry is? Nobody seems to know. The Pansy finds Dewberry in the back and is begging him to suck it up and get back out there. Finally, Dewberry feels well enough to return to the kitchen. The kitchen is elated. Ralph tells him “you’re on fire” and “you’re amazing”. Dewberry replies with “I’d rather you tell me I was Brad Pitt’s wife!”. :O

Stop the presses!!! You mean to tell me that my beloved Dewberry and I share a common desire for Brad Pitt? What does this mean? I’m gonna need a moment alone.
:cry

Now we see both kitchens in full swing and both chefs are using Chef Ramsay’s technique (except, they are throwing in please and thank you every once in a while.). Finally, the last ticket is served desserts and all and Michael’s kitchen cheers/Ralph’s kitchen cheers. One of Ralph’s customers says the meal was phenomenal. Michael is chatting with a couple of his customers who are raving about his lobster.

The kitchen is closed and both sides are lined up. Chef Ramsay tells them that because Michael wanted an LA restaurant he had nothing but LA diners and Ralph’s New York pub was filled with New Yorkers. He then asks if they are ready for his decision. Of course they are, however, I know he’s not going to give it yet because there’s too much time left on the clock. Sure enough, Chef sends Michael and Ralph back to the dorms and the sous chefs will be sent to get them when a decision has been made.

Another commercial break and we’re back and the boys are still in the dorms. They are discussing the evening and Michael tells us he thinks he’s won and Ralph tells us he hopes he wins. Now the sous chefs come in and they blindfold Ralph and Michael and lead them back to the kitchen/dining room where Chef Ramsay tells them to remove the blindfolds.

He tells them they had two very outstanding performances so he had to rely on customer satisfaction cards. The only question Chef Ramsay care about is “would you return”. One chef had a 90% return business response and the other had 94%. He tells the Chefs to face their doors. On the count of three the winner’s door will open and the loser will be forced to cry behind the glass panel.

So after an extended commercial break and a recap of the last three minutes of the last segment Chef Ramsay finally gets to 3---2---1!

The winner is….






Michael!!!

Michael is dumbstruck because there are tons of people in the dining room cheering him on. Once he gets his wits about him he rushes down the stairs and takes the lovely tattooed Lola in his arms. Meanwhile, Chef Ramsay is consoling Ralph upstairs. He then sends him down to join the party!

After celebrating a bit and champagne showers, Chef Ramsay quiets the room to make yet another announcement. He tells Michael that he has special talents and he would like to make him an offer. His offer consists of Michael going to London to work beside him in a world-famous restaurant in London. After a brief hesitation Michael says yes and again hugs Lola (who I just realized is wearing the same outfit she wore three nights before).

Chef Ramsay tells us that he chose Michael because he thought his creativity and standards were higher than Ralph’s. I readily agree and that my dear readers, is the end of Season 1 of Hell’s Kitchen. There are rumors of a season 2, but that still remains to be seen.

I hope you enjoyed reading these recaps as much as I enjoyed writing them. I apologize again for missing the episode when Elsie was eliminated.

Great reads FG! Thanks for the HK recaps! :D