Last week on the Cut – The teams got stores, Felix talked about skateboarding, Ears talked about 16 year old girls, and WesnDeanna pulled off a win. Felix and James went into the pit, and James took the runway home.
I would like to start off by saying that I am very proud of Tommy for using my term WesnDeanna. I am very, very happy. Oh so proud. And I will be upfront with you: I don’t really hate Wes. I just wanted to see how many of his groupies would attack me. Don’t deny – you know you fell for it. I bet you are reading this recap right now because you are wondering why I hate Wes so much. I win! Bwahaha! Hahaha! Haha! Ha... Ok, that’s enough.
The credits roll, and the teams get back. Automatically, the entire house starts whining about James being gone, and Shauna, yet again, stirs up drama, this time making Ears mad. Luckily, we don’t like Ears, so we laugh.
The next morning, the remaining 10 arrive at a cool little place where a bunch of punk rock bands played. This week, the teams will be styling two rock bands: Unisex Salon and God or Julie. First up, I would like to ask: what the hell is up with these team names? Unisex Salon? Wha? God and Julie? Huh?
Wes and Liz are the team pickers. Wes chooses Unisex Salon, while Liz is stuck with God and Julie. Wes picks Deanna, Shauna, Felix, and Rob to his team, and nobody is surprised. At all. Liz picks Chris, Ears, and Jessica. Princess is on Liz’s team by default, which is surprising since... I dunno... she can sew? You would think that having a sewer, but apparently, in Liz’s world, it isn’t. Then again, in Liz’s world she came up with My NY, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were also purple bunnies and blue trees with yellow water and flowers wearing pants. Oh, but there is a secret twist. Oh so secret and oh so... twisty.
The teams will be living with their bands!
Gasp! Shock! Hoorrrrorrrrrr!!!
Tommy leaves, and the teams go out to meet their respective bands. I’m already trying to guess how many of them will be on some form of mind-altering substances.
Team Unisex is the first to arrive at their location in Brooklyn, and they walk in on the Salon boys and girl playing a wonderful song of some sort. The teammates - ok, the teammates named Wes and Deanna, who appear to be all of the people that you need in order to have a team that wins - notice that the band seems to be a little resistant to their ideas. However, both are rather confident that they will be able to convert them into the slightly prep-pop-punkish fashion guinea pigs that they want them to be. And I’m pretty sure someone laughed evilly, too.
Team Julie, as I will call it since the TV that I watched the show on covered up the “God Or” part, gets off to a different start. When the team arrives at the band’s apartment, one of the people in the band is rather into a little fighting game that he’s playing on the game console of his choosing, and seems to ignore Liz when she asks such questions as “what game are you playing” or “that’s cool, huh”. For the most part, there’s a bunch of extremely useless shots of them not talking, which is either supposed to make us think that the team is going to lose horribly or miraculously win, despite being full of suck. Either way, I’ve predicted the outcome!. Bwahaha! The team begins to talk to God or Julie – or, rather, at them, as they get one word answers most of the time – and the bandmates confirm that they do, indeed, like the color black. Nobody is surprised, and Ears mentions that it’s their job to make them not wear... black. God or Julie actually won’t let the team leave until they all take a shot of Jack Daniels. Soon, Team Julie realizes that they have a dilemma: there are only four people in the band! Princess, Liz, Chris, and Jessica all latch onto a random band member, leaving Ears as the odd man out. Poor guy.
A little bit later, team Julie runs to the bands’ favorite store in order to buy some cookie-cutter T-shirts and some cookie-cutter black pants. The team looks at quite a few random t-shirts before leaving the store, utterly confused and still looking for clothing. You’re buying them black t-shirts and black pants, people. This could NOT be that hard. Hell, they could probably shop at the Goodwill where they got their clothes from last week. Throughout their failed clothes-finding attempt, Ears attempts to come up with ideas. Unfortunately for him, all of his ideas get shot down rather quickly by the rest of the team. I rejoice yet again. The team eventually splits up and goes to different stores to get their items.
Team Unisex also goes out clothes shopping, and is much more productive whilst doing it. However, while at first glance this team may be full of fun and giggling, laughing, happy people, the taxi rides home showed a [i[ much, much, much[/i] different side of the team. *dun dun dun* Yes, apparently, WesnDeanna(nShauna, but she’s not as important) are rather convinced that Mr. Invisible Rob sucks at, well, everything except painting. Even Rob mentions that he feels like his expertise is useless in this task because the vision of the team didn’t involve it. The girls (aka Wes, Deanna, and Shauna) take a few more shots at Rob, and all is well in Unisex land.
After finishing their shopping rounds, both teams walk into their bands’ living quarters and find a happenin’ party in full force. At God or Julie’s party, the people seem tame and calm party in full swing, with people drinking calmly and not making themselves look like complete morons. However, over at Unisex, the patygoers appear to be entirely drunk and on mind-altering drugs, causing them to be a little bit more wild than usual. I’m a little bit surprised that none of them went straight to the point and just pulled down their pants. The teammates are a little bit surprised and ask Shauna to go to bed for a while so that she can sleep and relax a bit. Wes wonders what Miss Liz could possibly be doing, and the scene conveniently changes to her taking shots of various alcoholic drinks with the band. Princess mentions that it’s about time that Liz got loose, because nobody liked her and “she acted like she had something stuck up her booty”. And here I was, thinking that Liz actually had her head in Tommy’s booty instead. Maybe it’s a chain of people up other people’s booties or something. Back over at Unisex, the drunkards are in full force, and one person clears a snack table in order to stand on it. Not to mention that people are riding bikes indoors and spontaneously laughing. Apparently, just being in the room makes these people giddy and happy. Perhaps, in future parties, the fine people in Unisex Salon should avoid bringing nitrous oxide.
Later that evening, both parties appear to have been stepped up a notch. Over at the Unisex shindig. people are now spanking others and shaving each others’ heads. Wow, they must have taken some pretty potent stuff. Either that, or they’re absolutely crazy. God or Julie’s pizza and alcohol party has taken off as well, and just about all of the team members are consuming an alcoholic beverage of some sort. Team Julie eventually gets around to asking what the band members think of the clothing that the team has selected, and just about all of them object to the pants. At first, I wondered why these jeans were so horrible – until I saw them. In all of their extremely shiny glory. I mean, I didn’t think that they made man-pants that shiny, but oh, was I wrong. They sparkle more than an outfit that Jacko would make. Anyone remember him? Huh? No? Ok. In a few last ditch efforts, the team washes the jeans and sands them a few times, hoping that the sparkly sparkles in them will go away. Back at Team Unisex, Rob paints away on a jacket, although the team doesn’t want it, and the group also nixes it. It’s hard being an invisible man, I suppose. At Team Julie, Chris has resorted to sanding the jeans by hand. Liz says something slightly catty about not feeling entirely responsible if they lose, and Chris has a little rant about how they would have loved him if the shiny-ness was a good thing.
The next morning, the team only has a short amount of time in order to actually dress the band before they go off to their performances. Team Julie is rather surprised to find out that the jeans look good, and although the fit is tight, Princess quickly fixes it by adding more denim to them to the waist. Otherwise, the band dressing goes off without a hitch. Team Unisex, however, has a little problem: they can’t find the drummer. One of the other band members calls the drummer and asks him where he is, and the drummer responds that he doesn’t know where he is. I’m starting to think that this band needs to get a drug intervention plan for the drummer. And their friends. And the random people that shave other people’s heads at their crazy party. And themselves. With about 5 minutes left, the drummer stumbles in looking like he spent the night sleeping on the street (and, considering the party last night, that is altogether possible), and the team dresses him in a minute before dragging him to their taxi.
The teams arrive at the club where they met in the beginning of the task, and an audience has already arrived, ready to rock! *throws finger/s of choice in the air and moves head up and down quickly* Tommy arrives soon after, and the music begins. First up is Unisex Salon. They’re look is pretty good, and Tommy beams at the band while they play. Deanna mentions them looking hawt, the other team rolls their eyes, and the act is done, just like that. Following them is God or Julie. They are all pretty much dressed in black, from head to toe. Nothing original, nothing spectacular. Team Julie beams, and Tommy has an absolutely horrified look on his face, like someone is eating a baby on stage.
The teams arrive at the Style Forum, and Tommy arrives and promptly asks Deanna what her contribution was. Deanna states that she made the group dress the way that they wanted. He asks Rob the same question, and when Rob mentions that his item didn’t really get through, Tommy tells him not to be a one-trick pony. Yeesh, the Invisible Man is having a hard time this episode. Over on team Julie, Liz explains her logic in picking a team, saying that she’d never worked with Chris before, Ears had some good ideas, Jessica had sex appeal, and Princess was the seamstress. Tommy tells Liz that she shouldn’t leave her seamstress until the last pick, and the rest of the team gives him the “durr” look of obviousness. Tommy asks the team what they did, and the four team members with band members sit pretty while Ears sweats for a minute. Tommy tells everyone that team Unisex Salon won the challenge, which causes everyone to jump around crazily. Liz, on the other hand, acts as though she has just gone into shell shock, rocking back and forth with her hands over her ears. Tommy tells team Julie that they need to talk, and starts ripping into the team with appropriate Jaws music. Tommy tells Liz that she chose a horrible team and that she should have jumped on Princess earlier, to which Liz tries to defend herself. Jessica rallies behind Tommy and says that Liz is the weakest link. Tommy also gets on Ears’ case, and Ears suddenly starts talking himself deeper and deeper into a whole, and then attempts to smear Liz instead of giving a straight answer to Tommy. Both Ears and Liz are drug into the pit, and Tommy bashes both Liz and Ears. I laugh hysterically as my least two favorite players defend themselves. In the end, Ears is out of style because of his lack of importance, and he shakes Tommy’s hand and leaves. I start weeping tears of joy. Thank you, Tommy. Thank you.
Next week: the teams paint airplanes, and everybody yells and screams! Woohoo!
Do you enjoy destroying tables and shaving other people’s heads at parties? If so, e-mail me at boredsim133@hotmail.com