Last week on The Cut: Princess and Liz got in a teepee fight, Ears used his super magical powers to make Tommy like him, and Julie took the runway home. Apparently, painting the bottom of moccasins isn’t doing that much for the team. Go figure. Who will be out of style this week?
After the credits and the commercials following it, we get the SAME STUPID SEQUENCES with people going back to the trendy SoHo loft and acting surprised about the – wait – they don’t show it this time! Woah! Scary! I am amazed. Instead, they focus in on the next morning, when Ears talks about how happy he is that Tommy likes him. Apparently, getting Tommy’s approval is like getting asked to Prom for Ears.
The next morning, Tommy greets them at a big department store and launches into how he got started. Tommy, we already know that you started off in a small store selling jeans. We know you became a mini-jeans mogul. We know that you’re a designer. Stop telling us these things! The challenge this week is for each group to make their own store. The team that gets the most money will win, and the proceeds go to Goodwill. Felix and Shauna are the team leaders, and since Shauna’s team won last week she picks first. Shauna picks Wes, Deanna, Chris C., and Ears, while Felix picks Liz, Jessica, James, and Princess. The Invisible Man, Rob, is last, and automatically goes to Shauna’s team. The super surprise-tastic trip this week is a trip to the Sundance Film Festival. Exciting! I remember once, when I went to the Sundance Film Festival, long, long ago and I met all of the stars. Talk about amazing! And then... I woke up. This week, both of the team leaders, Shauna and Felix, decide to go to Sundance, leaving their teams vunerable and leaderless. *sniff* Team James, as I shall now call it since Felix is gone, is already sweating, as they’re down a person already.
The teams arrive at their places, and they both look like someone decided to demolish a big, big building and store all of the pieces in them. I’m surprised that they aren’t finding dangerous shards of glass that stick out of the floor and the walls. Now wouldn’t that make watching Ears and Visionary Man Chris cleaning out the interior of the store interesting? On team WesnDeanna, Wes, Deanna, and the Invisible Man are going to go get inventory while Ears and Chris stay and clean up. Deanna seems very sure that her team is going to blow the other team out of the water, and in the process of telling us this gives the camera a few “evil diva” looks. Hmm... maybe she’s the one that’s going to take the place of Jacko. Over on team James, there is pretty much chaos. Liz suggests that they go to grab inventory first, and James tells the rest of the team what he wants to do with the store, mentioning jeans and t-shirts. So, basically, it’s going to be like James’, Chris’, and Rob’s wardrobes. Woohoo! Exciting!
After the commercial break, Deanna, The Invisible Man and Wes go to the Goodwill store and begin to purchase their inventory, which consists mostly of dresses and blazers. All in all, the team leaves the store satisfied, and Deanna mentions once more that they’re going to win. I’m almost starting to think that Señor Foreshadowing is going to rear his ugly head once more this episode. Meanwhile, Felix and Shauna are in the private jet with Tommy, and Felix suddenly starts spewing out all of this information about his life as a professional skateboarder. To be honest, I’m getting rather bored of it, so I put the TV on mute and laugh at the dull, lifeless expression on Tommy’s face. Over team James, the items are being bought and they finally begin the cleaning process... at two in the morning. Yikes. James comes up with the idea of naming it “Garment Gallery”, for a reason that I don’t quite understand. On team WesnDeanna, it is the ever-useful Ears who comes up with the name: Comme Undone. I don’t understand what the extra “m” is doing there, but... whatever floats their boat, I guess. The team comes up with a marvelous idea that involves enlisting help from TEKNICAR, that place with the really cool name that helped them pimp the ride for Ulous, in order to get their interior design done. While Ears and Chris get the interior work done, WesnDeanna and The Invisible Man work on makin’ clothes. WesnDeanna isn’t very impressed with The Invisible Man’s painting skills, saying that he’s limited. Yeah? Well... you’re limited because you can’t paint on your clothing. Ooooh, point for The Invisible Man courtesy of Bored right there!
Over on team James, Jessica is experiencing some problems. Apparently, she’s feeling very, very sick. Oh no! Say it ain’t so, say it ain’t so! Of course, you know what happens when people get sick on Reality TV shows; they start vomiting uncontrollably. Thus, Miss. Minnesota begins the vomiting process, and Princess tells her to lay down. However, Miss Minnesota’s bout with influenza leads to the team essentially breaking down. Now, Princess is having an emotional breakdown because she’s overwhelmed, and Liz is bitching about how she was sick and was vomiting and never told anyone and blah blah blah Jessica is weak blah blah blah I’m so much better blah blah blah, leaving James is the corner, alone and very, very desperate.
The next morning, Chris and Ears are back at Comme Undone, and they enlist the help of some people to put the final, cleaning touches on the place. Over at the Garmet Gallery, Liz and James are feeling desperate, and Liz says that they need a vaccum. Suddenly, they see contracting people and lightbulbs go off in their heads. James goes outside and asks one of the people if they can borrow one of their vaccums, and the guy says yes. Ears sees this, is none-too-pleased, and throws another one of his “why!” tantrums. Yeesh, I’m getting really tired of those. The rest of the team is getting tired of them, as well, and Chris tells Ears that he needs to watch what he says. Zing!
That night, Comme Undone opens and the five-person team automatically gets to work. It appears that Rob and WesnDeanna are working on the customers inside, while Chris and Ears work on getting customers from the streets. Over on team Garmet Gallery, they are still working on their layout, and finally give in and just try to get it finished. In his desperation, James throws out the idea to just make their left-over items decoration for the gallery. The team agrees, mostly because of how tired they are, and soon they were ready to open... with four hours remaining. Both teams appear to be doing a wonderful job of pulling in the customers, and money is being exchanged rather quickly.
Apparently, word of the stores gets all around town quickly, because guess who stops into Comme Undone? Not Jennifer Lopez. Not Britney Federline. Oh no, someone much, much bigger than that. Someone named... Jamie Lynn DiScala. You know, that one woman... on that Sopranos show. Yeah, that one. She bubbly wanders around the store, looking at all of the pretty clothing, and asks how much one item of clothing costs. Deanna says that nothing has a price.
I hang my head in shame.
I mean, really – no price? In Bored land, that’s not such a good idea...
Jamie Lynn also decides to stop in next door at the Garmet Gallery, and comments on how much she likes the cool-looking ladder that actually has nothing to do with a gallery at all. I’m starting to think that they should have named it Ace – The Apparel Hardware Store... or something like that. The team members fawn over her momentarily, and then she leaves.
The next few sequences showcase just how useless Ears really is. Apparently, although he has been supplying the store with customers, these customers are... well, of the teeny-bopper variety. You know, the kind that go into stores and try stuff on and gossip about boys and then suddenly decide that they don’t want to spend mommy’s hard-earned money. We also catch a glimpse of Ears thinking with the head that does not have the skull-cap on it, mentioning how gorgeous this one girl looks. How old was she? Not 20, not 23... 16! Poor, poor Ears – he’s crossed over into R.Kelly territory.
Over at Sundance, Felix and Shauna chat it up with all of the celebrities. However, the only things that I hear Felix talk about are his skating and what people should wear. It’s rather grating on the nerves. Everyone is embarrassed by his behavior, and I cheer because he’s completely annoying me.
The next “celebrity visitor” to grace the stores is some random guy named Simon Doonan. Talk about a cool last name – Doonan. It’s almost as fun to repeat as “Cheadle”. C’mon, you know you want to say Cheadle three times fast. CheadleCheadleCheadle... Anyways, I actually have absolutely no idea what he did, but I think I saw him once on one of those “Fabulous Life” tv shows. He visits Comme Undone first, and Deanna fawns over him as though she has one of those obsessive crushes that you (hopefully) only find in the fourth grade. Simon isn’t greeted as kindly over at Garment Gallery, meaning that the team does not kiss his bootay. For shame, for shame!
With only 30 minutes, both stores are desperate to get a few more visitors before they close. Garmet Gallery, in fact, is so desperate that they start to steal customers right out from under Ears’ grubby little paws. Ears, of course, doesn’t like this, and gets all pissy again. I’m starting to expect this from him.
It’s time for another Style Forum, and as the contestants prep up for tonight, team WesnDeanna restates its confidence through Deanna. Yeesh, we get it, Señor Foreshadowing is coming to get them. Just get it over with already! Tommy first discusses how Shauna and Felix did at Sundance. Tommy is impressed with Shauna, but Felix... notsomuch. He mentions that he was an embarrassment, and I screech with joy.
Tommy starts off with team James, and Princess says that the idea was primarily James’ idea. Liz mentions that she wishes that someone else was there, but also says that everyone else got along, which is surprising since this is the team with Liz and Princess. Over on team WesnDeanna, Deanna pointed out Ears’ unfortunate encounter with the person, and Ears’ shoots himself in the foot by mentioning that the girl was 16 or 17. Stuupid Ears. Stupppid.
Next, Tommy has a little surprise for the teams... it turns out that Jamie Lynn and Dooooooonan are actually his plants and they suddenly appear on stage! Everyone’s so surprised, except not really. Ok, not at all. Dooooonan is up first, and mentions that he liked the service in Comme Undone, although he mentions that the idea of not having price tags is ridiculous. He is much, much harsher to the Garmet Gallery, saying that the service was subpar, the ladder was in the wrong place, and the light fixture gave him a rash. Ouch. Jamie Lynn pretty much parrots everything that Dooooonana says, except she’s much, much nicer to Garmet Gallery and she likes the ladder. However, it doesn’t really matter what either of them said, because the winner is determined by how much money each team received. Comme Undone received $970.30, and Garmet Gallery got $765.65. That means that Ears lives to see another day!
It’s time for Tommy to talk with Team James. James is immediately in the line of fire, and he mentions that he would have felt much more secure if Felix would have been there. It appears that every single other person agrees with them on the team, and Tommy sends Felix to the pit first. Joining Felix in the pit is James. At this point, I’m sure that Chris is mentally screaming “Please let Felix go, Tommy, there can only be on visionary in THIS game,” accompanied with the appropriate snaps in a Z formation. Sadly, we do not get any affirmation of this, and Chris’ hopes and dreams are destroyed when Tommy tells James that he is out of style. James asks Tommy if he can say one thing to everyone, and Tommy allows him to. James starts to tell how much he loves everyone, and the scene is so awkward that I want to turn off my TV. He finally leaves, and everyone is emotional. Everyone... except for Doooonan. I don’t know if he’s emotional or not, but I bet he isn’t.
Dooooooooooooooooooonan. Do you get as much pleasure from saying that as I do? If so, e-mail me at boredsim133@yahoo.com