Last week: Amy got the ax and was deemed out of style by Tommy, the Trump of the show. But who will get going this week?
The show starts off with the usual recap of the last week, the credits, and then... immediately goes to an oreo commercial? Huh? Did they never consider... I dunno... starting the show? Goodness...
Eventually, they do start the show, and the remaining 15 contestants head back to the SoHo loft, all dejected and crying. Um... y’all... you DIDN’T go home. You’re still here. Half of you didn’t like Amy anyways. Once they get back, Wes says that Shauna is gone. We soon find out that he’s lying, as Shauna’s in the next scene. However, she does say that she wants to leave. In a confessional, she reasons that it’s OK to leave because she was unimpressed with the first challenge. Shauna, I wasn’t impressed with the first task either, but do you see me stomping off saying “Bored go bye-bye”? No! Get back here, Shauna! Do you hear me talking to you?
The next morning, the contestants go to an auto shop, and guess who the first person that I see walk through the door is? None other than SHAUNA! I knew that Shauna wouldn’t desert us after all. After Tommy tells another one of his pointless stories, he introduces the challenge. This week, our designers will be tricking out Lincoln Navigators to give to Fab-u-lous. Everyone looks excited, but the confessionals reveal that half of the contestants don’t actually know who Fabulous is. This is a sad, sad day for hip-hop. *tear*
Tommy tells the contestants that the teams will be switched up each week, and the people who got picked first the previous week will pick the teams. That means that Elizabeth and Chris C. will be picking teams. Elizabeth goes first, since her team won, and picks Felix. Chris C’s first pick is James. After the dust settles, Elizabeth has picked Felix, Princess, Jacko, Wes, Chris, and Jessica to be on her team. Chris C. has picked James, Rob, Jeff, Deanna, Julie, and Shauna. Vlada, by default, is on Elizabeth’s team. Is anyone surprised? No, apparently: not even her. Although it is a blow when you’re deemed less valuable than someone who says that they want to quit (but won’t anyways).
But wait! There’s a surprise challenge. Tommy says that one person from each team will go to the People Choice Awards to interview the STARS! After two hard minutes of deliberation, Shauna and Jacko are the ones going to the awards. Tommy says that they will be judged on how well they handle themselves there, and they run out to the limo that will take them to their private jet and begin to act like little schoolgirls.
At 7 PM, the cars arrive, the teams get dressed, and the blue team frantically throws ideas out. It’s like a freakin’... feeding frenzy over there. The orange team, on the other hand, is organized and Princess, the woman that stood up to Jeff and, for which, I will forever be grateful towards, has emerged as an early leader in the challenge. She’s rather convinced that she knows exactly what Fabulous, so I’m thinking she’s taken the last few years of her life to stalk him and/or make a fan site all about his life.
In the meanwhile, Jacko and Shauna arrive at their destination, and they’re both rather happy that they aren’t working at Teknicar. I, for one, wouldn’t mind working at Teknicar because of that really cool name, but I am happy that we won’t see either of them too much this episode.
Back at Teknicar, the teams get a call, and they find out that two people from each team are going to the club with Fabulous. Chris C. is the most giddy about the opportunity, and says that he IS going. On the other team, Vlada and Princess are picked to represent their team – Princess because she owns allthingseverevereveraboutUlousbecausehessohot.com , and Vlada because, well, nobody likes being around her. Vlada, Princess, Chris C., and Ears arrive at the cub and Fab shows up. Almost immediately, Vlada and Princess are flirting with Fab like he’s the last man on earth and it’s up to them to convince him to continue the human race through one of them. Ok, maybe not that badly, but it makes it sound more dramatic. Princess says it’s muy importante that Ulous remembers Princess. For those who didn’t know, muy importante means very important in Spanish. See? The Cut teaches you many things besides how to save money when you aren’t calling Geico and how to act like you’re going to quit even when you know you aren’t going to do so. After a while, Chris asks Fab to take a walk around the club with him, and they discuss what Ulous wants in his car. Chris somehow manages to get something aside from “I like tints. I like rims” out of Fabulous, and for that, I think he should win. Not really. Actually, he’s getting really annoying with his visionary-like antics, so I hope he goes home soon, but Ears and Vlada-ho have got to go first...
The teams get back from the club, and when Liz asks them what they got from Fab, Princess and Vlada begin to bumble about... Vienna Fingers. In the confessional, Princess says she was drawing Fab into her “coco’s”, and they got good information. LIES! LIES I SAY! On the other team, Chris C. got a bunch of information and really impressed his team. Darnit.
Later that night, there is a major crisis on the blue team: THEY’VE LOST THEIR KEYS! VOLCANOES ERUPT! HELPLESS CHILDREN ARE CRUSHED! RICKY MARTIN PUTS OUT MORE CD’S!! THE HORROR, THE HORROR! The blue team tears Teknicar (such a cool name) apart, but still can’t find them. The next morning, they bring a locksmith in to get new keys, and the team (read: Chris C. and friends) feels rejuvenated.
Over on Orange, Felix and Southern Chris put an Elvis mic on the stick shift while some of the other teammates are just waking up. I’m amazed by the fact that Southern Chris still exists. I was afraid he’d sneaked on the plane with Tommy and Shauna or something. Around 8, the orange team goes to the fabric store, where Princess picks out about a million different skins and furs. The team decides to buy some alive-looking fox skin, which Princess says is for the girl’s feet. I don’t know about girls, but I’d be afraid that my toes would be bitten off. The thing looks like it died three minutes ago.
In a short cut-in segment, Jacko (who is now sporting an even worse haircut than usual) and Shauna get prepped by “ET Man”, as I will call him. Tommy realizes that he’s not prepared for his task at all, and I hope and pray that he fails miserably.
Back to the real show... Someone comes up with the bright idea for a wine box in the car, and they put Ears to the task of making it. I don’t know if a wine box is exactly the best idea, but that’s OK. Ears’ box is absolutely horrible, and Chris C. asks him to glue it up a little bit. Ears somehow manages to put glue all over the darned thing to the point where Chris C. whines about not achieving perfection and how he came from the ghetto and how he quitting isn’t an option and blah blah blah...
Back in People’s Choice Awards Land, Jacko and Shauna begin to work the carpet. Shauna seems to be doing a marvelous job on the red carpet; Jacko, on the other hand, is jumping all over the people without even really knowing who the people are. I mean, anyone with an ounce of sense knows hat Sheryl Crow’s pipes are less like gold and more like brass, or maybe bronze on a good day.
Back at Teknicar (I just can’t get over that name...), the orange team is working extremely hard... except for Vlada, who appears to be lounging in the back of the car fidgeting with the TV... and the TV fixing guy. Liz and Wes ask her to move momentarily and stop watching TV, and Vlada freaks out, saying that she’s not watching the TV, she’s FIXING IT! I wish that I could fix a TV by staring at it with such intent like she was doing.
Over on blue, I believe that we have a new mommy. Apparently, Julie has given her role over to none other than... Chris C! *fanfare and people clapping* Apparently, Chris sees something that is not “perfection” on the car: the running boards are slightly messed up. Either Jeff or Rob did it, but neither one will take responsibility. ChrisMommy chews them out for it, saying that they ruined the project. Julie, the ex-mommy, is worried about making it a god project. Case in point: with approximately 15 minutes to go, ChrisMommy suggests in a “if you don’t do this we’re going to lose and I’m going to blame you for not trying to achieve perfection and you’re going to go home” way that James take out a strip of this odd-looking paisley fabric so that the headrest has a bit of the tan color sticking out of it. Jeff is rather frantic, and they get the final headrest back on the car just in time. ChrisMommy is very proud of his project, and Princess is as proud of the orange teams’ product, although she notes that it is a little bit gaudy. Um. Princess... that’s not necessarily a good thing.
After a commercial break, the teams minus Shauna and Jacko meet in a scary-looking parking lot, and Tommy, Ulous, and Funk Master Flex ride up in the TommyLimo. The cars that the teams tricked out show up and do a flashy stopping trick, and Funk Master Flex inspects the cars. On the blue team, he says that he likes the lights and the suede, but he wasn’t a fan of the head rests. Over on Orange, he likes the clothing rack, but hates the fur.
Later that day, the contestants prep to go to the style forum. Jeff’s worried that If he doesn’t win, “the world will suffer for it”. No, Jeff... we’ll be doing fine, thanks. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Princess, on the other hand, is not nearly as worried, and she says she gives the runway “fever” when she walks down it. Umm.... oooo... kayy??? I just don’t know how to respond to that...
The contestants arrive at the style forum (I’m sure that Princess is giving her runway some fever) and Tommy first wants to talk about the ET challenge. Tommy asks Jacko to name two celebs, and Jacko just can’t do it. I rejoice. Shauna, on the other hand, names Sheryl Crow immediately. Tommy says that ET Man was impressed with Shauna’s performance, but was not impressed at all with Jacko’s. Thus, Tommy says, Jacko failed. Ouch. That was harsh, in a “Bored rejoices” way.
Anyways, onto the main task! Tommy asks the blue team what happened with the keys, and nobody knows where they went. Tommy asks Ears what he did during the task, and he says that it was his idea for the license plate. Tommy says that Ears didn’t add anything to the group, and I rejoice yet again. Julie says that they weren’t a cohesive group because the guys had strange unfuzzy vibes, a statement that ChrisMommy automatically jumps all over, even after Julie says it’s not directed exactly at him. Tommy says that the team was a mess, which they certainly appear to be right now.
Over on orange, Tommy asks Vlada what information they got from Fab at the club, and she begins to bumble about his favorite color. He then asks Princess and she bumbles about Vienna Fingers. Princess also takes credit for the idea of all of the fur. Now that Tommy has talked to both teams, Fab comes out and gives his opinions on the cars. On the orange team’s car, he likes the closet, but strongly dislikes the fur and the “F” on the hood of the car. Over on blue, he likes the blue lights everywhere and the “Fabulous” floor board, so... the blue team wins! Wes looks like he’s about to cry. Ulous also adds that Princess was a little aggressive before disappearing again.
Tommy begins to chew out Princess and Vlada for not getting too much information. He asks Jessica who contributed the least on the team, and she says Vlada. Vlada begins to make about a million excuses, but Tommy lays the smackdown. Princess says that she did a lot and listened to Fab, but Tommy objects there as well. Tommy makes Vlada and Princess step into the pit, and tells them that although they failed, at least Princess showed signs of leadership and creativity, so Vlada is out of style. And thus, the ho ho ho go-go-goes. Ok, that was bad. I apologize for that.
Next week: Jacko and the original mommy figure argue! Woohoo! Catfight!
Do you like Vienna Fingers too? If so, e-mail me at boredsim133@yahoo.com