Hello again there folks. If you’re reading this recap, there’s a chance that you’ve watched the episode and that you already know the results. Don’t be shy and come chat with us. Like me, I’m sure you have lots to say on this show. Let’s start right now and I promise I’ll try to use better jokes than the king of the teleprompter.
Our first funnyman tonight is Gabriel Iglesias. I like him, but I wouldn’t buy a ticket to see a whole show of him. One minute is just enough. He makes a joke about donuts and a policeman. Groundbreaking stuff tonight, y’all.
Kristin Key, that tall and thin woman with the awful haircut says she wishes she had a ghetto booty to shake it like a salt shaker. She also says that sleeping with her would be like doing it with a bag of coat hangers. Not bad but nothing that makes me roll on the floor laughing my ghetto booty off.
Moody McCarthy says he went into a record store to escape the rain yet he saw a guy buying a “Sounds of the rain” CD. He said to him that this band was playing outside right now. Yeah, amusing, but nothing more.
Ty Barnett talks about the American government and somehow makes a parallel with pimps. It’s not his jokes that are funny it’s just that the man has a great stage presence. I don’t think he was funny enough to go through, though.
Nikki Payne, my dear annoying friend, made me laugh out loud more than anyone else. What’s wrong with me? She was great tonight, doing physical comedy and saying she never won an argument by showing her boobies. Really? Because I…
Moving along now, I have completely changed my mind about her and I’m so sure she moves on that I’m willing to bet a chocolate dollar.
For some reason, I see Jenna Lewis from Survivor in the crowd and I couldn’t care less.
Malik S. uses the same smooth style as he always does and he’s just great. He says the gas prices makes people date around their block and it changes things for gang members too. Hilarious! I think he has a chance. But what do I know, I’m not a television producer.
Brendon Walsh, who I thought was crap the first time I saw him, impresses me less this time around by talking about high school and such other trivialities. Next!
It’s time for Josh McDermitt! I was rooting for him in the first auditions and I hope he can impress me again. He does this completely out there number on fishing, hunting and shooting… so weird but at least he doesn’t copy anyone else.
Bruce Fine, who always starts by saying the comics will progressively get smaller as the night goes on, does a hilarious number about food samples. It’s so true and well-presented that I can’t help but laugh. People are bad actors sometimes and it’s great to point it out.
Rebecca Corry is a tiny woman who wears a belly-shirt. Right there should give you an idea of what this woman is capable of. She has a long number about going to the gym and it’s just alright for me, dawg. She says she got into comedy because she hates herself a lot.
Next up is Jon Fisch who I thought was just great last time. I might have a thing for bald comedians. He says he gets nervous about the tags on his luggage at the airport. Sure, if you like the things you’ve stolen in my bag, here’s my home address where you can find some similar items! Yes, I’ll be gone to Florida for two weeks, but you already knew that because you have my Palm Pilot. I think he’s great, but I’m sure you guys didn’t get that just by my gigantic paragraph about him.
Bil Dwyer wears an orange shirt, he looks like he’s been doing comedy for fifty years and he talks about his wife and his single friends.
It’s almost sure he gets in the house, but that doesn’t mean I like it.
Wait, what is she doing here? I thought she was horrible during the auditions and I had blocked from my memory that she made it through. Stella, the pregnant woman, talks the same old shtick about cheating on her husband and all that jazz. She receives Boo’s eyebrow of doom for tonight.
Mike Bocchetti, or Hank Hill as he’s better known, goes the Jay London route and he has new one-liners for us tonight. He was the tallest kid in his grade, that’s because he was 27 years-old. Not as good as the first time, I’m afraid.
Gerry Dee, talks about his experience as a 12th grade teacher. It’s funny because I’m sure it happened in real life as not too long ago I, myself, had gym teachers teaching me everything from geography to economics.
Flip Shultz disappointed me. He talks about plastic surgery and I know that’s the end because Kathy Griffin won’t vote for him. Sniff.
Michele Balan talks about dying in New York because her apartment is the size of a coffin anyway. They always say on the news that they are on high alert but she says she can’t be high and alert at the same time. Good stuff lady, but lay off the “I’m so old I’m nearly dead” thing.
J Chris Newburg is one comic I really like. He says rappers fear spell-check (So do I, I just know one day a little character will come out of my computer screen and slap me for making such stupid mistakes.)
Our first and only “I’ve never seen him before” comedian of the night is Dan Levy. He’s so cute! Except his jokes show off how young he is but I absolutely love it. He says his girlfriend was cheating on him and his friends told him it could be worse. He sees it as being worse only if he caught her cheating, the guy punched him in the face, he got a ticket and Creed was playing on the radio. Haha. Making fun of Creed is always good.
Our last comic of this segment is Doug Benson. Without any question, he gets my seal of approval. He was clever, hilarious, and just top-notch overall. I don’t want to re-write all of his number because his main idea is that he worked hard on segues between his jokes. (I wrote it segways but I found out that’s the way they write that cool thing that you stand on and you can lazily go everywhere.) Brilliant.
The comics joining Roz, Josh, Chris and two unmentionable names are:
Gabriel Iglesias, winner of the people’s choice and the money. I guess he'll be entertaining.
Bil with one "L" Dwyer, which isn’t a surprise.
Michele Balan, who once again finds a way to tell us she is old.
Stella… wait, are you kidding me? Producers, if you think because she is pregnant she’ll make for good entertainment in the house, you are sadly mistaken.
Finally, Ty Barnett. What? I didn’t expect that. I can name you about five others who were so much better but I’m not going to complain because he wasn’t terrible.
So let me understand this. No Doug Benson, Nikki Payne, Jon Fisch or Josh McDermitt? Wait, there is a twist! Two other comedians are going to be chosen!
Males so far: 6 Females so far: 4
The two other comics are Kristin Key and Rebecca Corry. We have a top 12.
What? No Doug Benson, Nikki Payne, Jon Fisch or Josh McDermitt?
I am being Punk’d. That's the only possible explanation.
Join me next week if you have pity for me as we get our first glimpse at the “house”. I didn’t see any previews but I’m sure they’ll show plenty during the upcoming week.
I hate this show, but I still watch it. Follow me in my twisted ways and sign up to ART.