I should be boycotting this show. I should be ignoring any mention of it, all 2,000 commercials a day on NBC about it. I should be forgetting about my crush on John Heffron or my admiration for Alonzo Bodden. Yet, here I am, laughing and writing recaps. I am at the mercy of this show, whether I like it or not. Sit back, relax, and enjoy as I try to put in writing the comedy of a few lucky people who at least try to be funny.

First up is a "let’s pat ourselves on the back and show the world our winners are great" segment where they feature John Heffron, Alonzo Bodden and Dat Phan . Wait, what? Poor Dat is not even mentioned! Comedy gold right off the bat, I love it. Anthony Clark is our host for this season and he looks like he has too much makeup on. Jay Mohr sure wasn’t coming back after rightfully complaining about the network’s poor handling of the third season. *puts on her “I’m Bitter” T-Shirt*

Los Angeles

The first audition city is Los Angeles and we’re treated to some comedy veterans, even if the network will never admit it. First up is Felix McNolty; the judges remember him and they say that he sucked… I think this guy might not make it far. The first real comedian we see is Gabriel Iglesias who I like already. His stuff is nothing new but it did make me smile. Some of you might know Bil with one L Dwyer from previous gigs on TV and he makes a joke about morning radio hosts always consisting of two guys with nicknames and a girl named…Helen. If it’s true, it’s funny.

Something we don’t see too often in comedy is a 19 year-old girl, namely Kaitlin Colombo. Her jokes are good enough and she does represent for all the aspiring young ones. Someone a lot of you might remember is Marc Price, who was also known as Skippy on the show Family Ties. He says he’s trying out comedy because he doesn’t want to end up on Celebrity Fit Club. Bwaha!

I started watching Last Comic Standing after the auditions during season 2, so I didn’t know about the existence of the creature known as Buckstar. I’ll say this only once during this recap, it’s clear to me that this guy works for NBC. I mean come one, who has enough money or airmiles to travel to six cities just to audition for three minutes?

A wave of panic comes over me when I see Nikki Payne on my TV screen. She’s a Canadian comic and one that I can only handle in very small doses. She has a lisp and uses that in her routine. She bugs me greatly because she screams all the time. Case in point, she makes a joke that everyone in life should have as much enthusiasm as her: “Do you want fries with that?” YEAH! She’s currently on a TV show called Video on Trial where her job is to criticize and make fun of music videos. Um, hello, I do that on a regular basis and do I get paid for it?

Each night during the auditions, there is a show in front of the audience where the people get to vote on who they liked the most. The contest is blatantly sponsored but it gets one person a no-hassle pass to the next round and they receive money. Not bad, I suppose.

Doug Benson talks about the six “states” he has been in (drunk, sober, depressed, elated, California and Texas – he’s in three of them right now!)

Some guy named Theo Von is up next and he's cute but he's not funny. Come on, Kevin Federline jokes? My cat does that on a regular basis and does he get paid for it? Oh, I am just being informed that he’s a reality ho and that he has been on Road Rules. I don’t watch that, I don’t have a preconceived opinion of him but I can safely say that he sucks as a comic.

The results are in and the comics going through to the next round are Theo Von, Wild Willy (biker-looking guy who was hilarious), Doug Benson, (voted by the audience) Bil Dwyer, Gabriel Iglesias, Stella Stopher (six months pregnant and not too funny), Matt Fulcher, (he made me laugh) Tig Notaro, (her foot has been asleep all day, please keep it down) Chip Chinery, Vargus Mason, Rebecca Corry (made a joke about throwing up, again, not funny) and Nikki Payne. Ugh. Moving on to Tempe, Arizona!

Arizona

First up is Chris McDermitt and he’s absolutely wonderful. He shows no emotions when he states that even if people say “you are what you eat”, he has never eaten a 27 year-old loser who lives with his dad. We also see Jim Wiggins from season two and his voice is still mesmerizing, but he’s not as funny as I remember. The judges do invite him back for the night show.

During that show, we see J. Chris Newberg who sings the most romantic song ever, Bruce Fine a tiny man with lots of jokes, Ty Burnett who is pretty good-looking and makes a joke about himself and Frances DiLorenzo who talked about her sex life after having kids.

Chris Porter is already my favorite of them all. At the first audition, he introduces himself and then says that he is single… “What….WHAT?? Nobody wants to have sex with Willy Wonka!” he says, and his intonation is just hilarious. Although in writing right now it doesn’t sound that way, believe me, it’s funny! During the night show he talks about how it’s the women’s fault that gas prices are so high and we are treated to Chris’ theory for cheaper gas prices- have sex with guys who ride the bus. Go on with your bad self.

Going on to the next round are Chris Porter (fan favorite), J Chris Newburg, Bruce Fine, Ty Barnett, Josh McDermitt and April Macie, a woman who said her fun nickname in high school was whore. You get the picture.

Texas

The most memorable comedian for me in the first auditions was David Huntsberger. His joke wasn’t that funny but I thought it was well thought out. He talks to a girl and she says she accidentally erased his phone number…on her cell phone. All of you who have a cell phone know how it’s slightly complicated to do that (I tried doing that the other day and it took me more time than to write this whole recap.) So he says, you pressed menu, edit, delete, are you sure you want to delete, all of that by accident? Later on at the night show he makes a joke about seeing real stereotypes, like a bunch Mexicans pushing a really small car and then wonders why Mexico doesn’t have a bobsled team.

We also see Fred Bothwell from last season and he still performs shirtless although one could be fooled with the massive amount of hair he as all over his body. There’s also Kristin Key, a really tall and thin woman who says she looks like an ostrich when she’s wearing a bathing suit. That was funny. Bathing suits being a nightmare jokes are always funny. When it’s not you who the joke is about.

During the night show, we see Angela Ice who’s saying if her husband bought a 5,000$ four-wheeler then she is going to buy 5,000$ worth of lingerie for something he won’t get to ride. *Snaps* There’s also Brendon Walsh who I believe was a total John Heffron ripoff and I don’t like him. (Yes, I know, Heffron was a ripoff of other comedians, shhhh!) Doug Malard is also there but all I remember about him is that he wanted to be on camera for his grandma.

The ones going through to the next round are Kristen Key, David Huntsberger, (Yay!) Doug Malard and Brendon Walsh, who won the fan pass. He was far from being funny. I mean, five seconds of each comedian should be enough to make an opinion of them, right?

New York

Let’s start off with one comedian I cannot stand. His name is Joey Gay. He is loud, his voice is grating and I want him off my TV right now! Boooo! Some guy named Rogor looks oh-so familiar to me…I’m just going to throw it out there…is it possible that he was on Average Joe at some point? Not named Rogor but Igor? I could be going crazy too, that’s also possible.

Moving on, we have a man named Angel who is the most “what was that??” contestant so far yet he gets a shot at the show that night. We also see Mike Bochetti and one of the judges tells him he has the biggest head he’s ever seen. Nonetheless, Mike makes both of the guys laugh, which is an impressive achievement.

During the night show, we see Michelle Galan, an ex-executive who left her job to become a comedian. We also see Brody Stevens who starts off by saying he’s a good-looking man and there’s also Roz, a woman who states she doesn’t have jokes she has problems.

Let’s not forget Josh Blue, a younger guy who has cerebral palsy and his jokes are pretty good. He says his mom is the only person in the world who knows when he’s drunk. John Fisch made me laugh so much with his bit about sleeping with his girlfriend and his outrage after she tells him he’s a great cuddler; that’s like telling a chef he cleans the dishes pretty well.

Those lucky people from NY who are going through are Michelle, Joey Gay, Roz, Mike Bochetti, Josh Blue, Modi Rosenfeld, (made a joke about when Jews are mad, they buy a building and sell it for five times the price) Moody McCarthy, (joked about liking a woman with a raspy voice, she might be done with all the yelling) and Jon Fisch who won the fan pass.

Chicago

We see a bit of people who suck and to me it’s just a waste of time. Jimmy Pardo looks like he has been doing this for quite some time and he calls the judges by their first names… Riiight.

Larry Reeb has been doing comedy for 23 years! He’s not that funny but the judges let him through to the show that night. Nikki Glaser is next and she is a student with some controversial jokes. Not my kind of humor but I’m sure lots of people will like her.

At the night show, Gerry Dee makes some cutesy jokes, as well as Sapna who talks about her mother making a scene when she wanted to get into acting. John Roy is really good, talking about people who don’t want to be paid in money but in fireworks.

All in all, Gerry Dee wins the fan pass and John Roy and Nikki Glaser are going through. It looks like they lost some passes for the next round as the show goes on.

Miami

The first real comedian we see is Flip Schultz who just looks the part right away. We also see Yamil Piedra whose act is really slow but I enjoy it. He gets to perform that night.

As I said earlier, it seems that as the show goes on, the smaller amount of passes and comedians we see. During the night show we see Flip, Yamil and a guy named Al Jackson who jokes about when you show up in class and there’s a movie playing for no reason, that means your teacher was drunk the night before. There’s also Malik S. who talks about not being a real thug because he wears a seat belt.

I should probably mention, for the sake of professionalism, that Buck Star got to perform tonight and he was baaaad.

Only Malik, who won the fan pass, and Flip are going through to the next round.

This is it for the two-hour madness of laughs and of "I know that guy from somewhere!" Join me next week for the semi-finals, and I promise I will continue to ignore Buck Star.

Do you have better jokes than the people going through to the next round? Sign up and come chat with us!

Oh my gosh... a Buck Star free recap!

I'm proud. And good job, by the way :lol:

Such a hard show to recap and yet you did a great job! I'm glad they at least gave Buckstar a shot, I know I am in the minority, and the Cuban guy I thought was really funny but needs more work. In all I love this show already.